What I Think Love Is
by BradenIsMyMonkey
Summary: LuxPOV: Everytime I look at him, I feel something more. So...Why did it end like that? I'll tell you why, so come and listen to my story of how it all ened. Angst,Death,Violence,WIP


I hope you enjoy this fiction. It's a comedy/angst fic. snicker Those two genres are opposites…but I wanted some humor in this story. This is probably going to be the most angst fiction I ever write, so far. I do very much hope you like it. This chapter isn't Beta'd, but is in the process. I figured I'd post it now, then when I get it back, fix it all.

It's in Luxord's POV! Enjoy!

What I think Love Is

Every sad story starts the same, with everyone happy. Lucky for you readers, this story doesn't. Even if I tried with all my might to make this story start with happiness, it wouldn't. I don't have a heart. I don't know how to show happiness. I forgot.

That sounds dumb, right? Yeah, if I were you it would sound crazy to me. Yet, here I am saying it with a straight face. I have no heart, I have no emotion. No one I am around has any emotion. I try to tell myself it isn't true, but the truth always finds a way to surface.

My mind is clouded, my memories are fading. I'm not old, so I know its isn't because of age. Its something more. Ever since coming to this castle I live in, I felt things about me slowly fade.

There is one, though that is different from everyone else. Demyx, number IX. He goes around the castle, running around, eyes full of something. Something more than everyone else's. Something that I missed for a long time. I hadn't seen eyes like his since I had a heart.

How long ago was that? I-I don't really remember anymore. This castle is having some affect on my memories, back when I had a heart. Don't get me wrong, I know all to well what it was like having a heart, but not the memories that should be with it.

As the days go by, I become more and more distant from everyone. I lock myself in my room, and don't come out. When I do, it's only to go to stupid meetings, the occasional mission, or to eat. There are, as of yet, thirteen of us…what the Superior calls us 'Nobodies.' I bet you would like to know who these guys are, right? Well… to entertain you I will.

Before that, though. I would like to say, that even though we don't have hearts, we are still like any other…family? I guess one could call us a family of sorts. We all live under one roof, so yeah. Most of these guys have issues, only known within the organization. None of our enemies know some things about them, and if word got out. Can someone say blackmail?

Moving on…

Number I is Xemnas… He's a stuck up piece of crap, that talks to much. If he could, he would indeed marry his voice. It sort of gets annoying, after awhile. I thank the heavens that our mandatory outfit has a hood…otherwise I would get caught every time I fell asleep during one of his rants. I'm sure I am not the only one who falls asleep. I hear snores here and there. Hmm…

The next guy, number II, is an asshole. Xigbar. I hate him. I really do. He has his moments…Don't take me wrong, he is smart, but he has his moments of witnessing Xemnas's furry first hand. He pulls a lot of pranks, and for someone who complains about Xemmy's ranting, he loves going to hear them. Every other announcement on the intercom is 'Xigbar come see me in my office now!' or 'Xigbar!!!!!' or the occasional 'Now'…He seems to always know 'Now' means him…scary, seeing as we all know too.

Stabbity-rip-stab-stab…Our chef and homicidal maniac, number III…Xaldin. He is one scary mother. I tried to get a glass of water from the kitchen, or also known as his kitchen, and almost lost a fucking leg! How the hell? Dunno… Xemnas gave us all 'duties' around the castle, to keep us occupied, and lucky us the guy who hates our guts feeds us. We try not to anger him, but he has a short temper. Somehow, to our dismay, the trio always seems to encounter a rather painful stomach ache and vomiting fits after diner. Maybe they should stay out of the sweets?

More on the trio later…They are a WHOLE different conversation..

Where was I? Oh yes, number IV Vexen. After having his Riku Replica privileges taken away, he has locked himself up in his lab. Creepy. We seem to have a pedophile amongst us. I wonder, when he met the real Riku, if he got a boner. Ugh… I wish I did not just think that. I won't be able to look at him anymore. You know, the other day, I swore I saw a Riku replica wondering around the halls…half naked. Maybe I was drugged. Or tired? Maybe high? Was I drinking? Probably.

Lexaeus, number V. His title doesn't do him harm. He literally is a 'Silent hero'. He saved Zexions cat from a horde of nobodies, countless of times. He has become godlike to the short silver-haired schemer. I barely hear him talk. I swear. I think the only word I ever heard from him…was 'Nasty'. That night was horrible. He tasted a new dish Xaldin tried out, and yes, it was nasty, but none of us said a thing. It was quiet then BAM he said the food was nasty! We had to buy a new table, new chairs, new dishes, new wallpaper, new walls, new floors, new door, new supply of ketchup, new fridge, new kitchen, new comforters…What? They were having a sale and they looked comfy. Xaldin is one crazy monkey when it comes to his food. Why do you think Xigbar has an eye patch? Or why Saïx has a scar? No, not from battles. From that night. The night Lexaeus spoke and doomed us all. More on that fight some other time.

The original cook, Zexion number VI. He was fired from being the cook when a dish started to have a conversation with Xigbar. Xigbar found it very amusing, and we all thought it was disturbing, especially when they started to talk about a T.V. show that was on last night. Enough about that, though. Zexion mostly can be found with a kitten. Why? Don't know really. He looks up to Lexaeus, not because he is short, but because he saves his Kittens a lot.

Number VII is Saïx-the craziest mother fucker here. One minute he will be calm, the next he goes psycho on us. He's worse then Xaldin…Then again, Xaldin gets even scarier than Saïx when someone touches or threatens to shave his sideburns. That's not often though…Especially when everyone witnessed Xigbar give Xaldin a razor, a pink one no less, for Christmas. Xaldin did use the razor, but not for himself. That, my dear readers, is why Xigbar has that nasty scar on his cheek. Back to Saïx. He likes to stare out to the moon, no surprise there. I swear, I think his somebody might have been a wolf. He's worse then Xemnas when it comes to obsessions…All in all Saïx is a psychotic stuck-up brown nose twat. He's a giant kiss ass to Xemnas…literally. They think we can't hear them, but we do….we sadly do…

Axel, number VIII, is the most hot headed turd I know. He is number one in the trio. He runs that show, but that will come later. He gets into trouble, a lot. Especially when he drinks. Him and the others, when they get drunk, are retards. I must admit, I have drank with them, but that's in the past. I don't get shit-faced as badly, or as quickly as this guy does. Never trust this guy. He has had his traitorous moments. Especially when he sacrificed one of his own trio members over to Larxene when he was the one who stole her bra. Or when he ratted out Xigbar when he ate Saïx's cookies.

Number two in the trio, Demyx. He is number IX in our little cult. He has a sweet fetish, and is often in trouble for it. He complains a lot, but he is the life of the organization…yeah..

The next is me…'Nuff said.

XI is Marluxia, the graceful assassin. He has two personalities. One he takes on when on missions, or doing something really important. He could get scary when he's in that personality mode. The other personality he has, when he is just in the castle, no missions or work, I swear it is the scariest thing ever. He is all happy and frolic-y. He's as happy as a nobody can be. He, as I like to refer to him behind his back, is a fruity-fruit cup. I know its mean, but he doesn't know.

The only female nobody here, Larxene number XII can get very moody. She doesn't really do well with us, especially not when some of the others get drunk. They steal her tampons, bras, undies and she gets mad. She'd stab them, beat them, rip out some internal stuff. What do you think the others do then? Go back for more. If it's not them being tortured by Larxene, they laugh. If they weren't such idiots most of us wouldn't be gay…Yeah I admit I'm gay, but I'm alone and always will be.

The youngest and newest member is number XIII Roxas. The third and final member of our cults loving trio. He can be seen with Naminé a lot, I think they like each other. Sad, since we nobodies can't really like anything, or anyone. It's cute, though. Naminé, so you know, is Marluxia's servant. Sad, but I don't care. She seems happy hanging out with Roxas when she can.

Well, that's all of them. Our very own organization. My cult I am in. Well, what do you know? I started this out happy. Talking about the members, about some personal stuff. I'm glad. Sorta. I have to stop for today. My head aches, and I need to lie down before I faint. Heh, you're probably wondering why I'm going to pass out right?

All in due time. I will try to lighten this story, my story, as much as possible. I'll add little funny side things. Next time we meet I'll talk about the trio. They have a lot to do with my story. A lot…Maybe I'll throw in the big fight with Xaldin and Lexaeus. Maybe. I don't want this to be to sad.

And yet it is…

TBC

That's it, for now. I love feedback, and the more reviews I get the faster I update. -


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